Dog Philosophy

The reason a dog has so many friends is that 
he wags his tail instead of his tongue. - Anonymous

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive 
evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die 
I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a 
puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you 
more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than 
the average person. - Andy Rooney

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and 
love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's 
the best deal man has ever made. - M. Acklam

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are 
incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. - Sigmund Freud

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members
of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn
around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes
like never washed a dog. - Franklin P. Jones

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known
will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. - James Thurber

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can.
That's almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come from
a grocery with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must
think we're the greatest hunters on earth! - Anne Tyler

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs
should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; 
that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says,
'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' - Dave Barry

Dogs are not our whole life, but they 
make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

My goal in life is to be as good 
a person as my dog thinks I am.

CREDIT: This was a little something I received in a many times forwarded email.  Although I do not know the author, the email was originated by a gentleman named Jacob Scovronek. It was so full of truisms, I had to share it on my site. I hope you find it as true as I did. Thanks Jacob!

An Email From: The Dog To: God

FROM: THE DOG

TO: GOD

Subj: Questions & Comments

Dear God,

I'd like to ask a few questions and make a few comments, if you please.

Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the" Chrysler Beagle"?

If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to do to be a good dog:

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?

CREDIT: This was received in an email from Paul Livramento. Thanks Paul

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